


a letter i'll show you when i remember

by 23notecanon (reincarnivore)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Memories, POV First Person, a letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22262812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reincarnivore/pseuds/23notecanon
Summary: When she heads back over the hill, Kairi spots Axel anxiously scrawling on the piece of paper she offered him, so she heads back behind the trees not to interrupt. It's hard not to come over to console him when he stops, holds the paper to his chest with his eyes squeezed shut.
Relationships: Axel & Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	a letter i'll show you when i remember

Dear, uhh, whoever-you-are:

Kairi says maybe it’d make me feel better if I write a letter I don’t plan to send. Guess it kind of makes it easier then, because I don’t even know who I’m sending it to? If I was… sending it. I guess I shouldn’t count that as a bonus, huh.

At least, I think you’re a girl. And that narrows it down to about half the population of the universe. My only guess is because I see you in Kairi’s face, and I’m sorry if that’s me making assumptions that maybe all girls look alike. When I think about it, though, it’s not like you or her look like Larxene…

At first, Kairi said maybe I should write one for Roxas, but I don’t think he’d appreciate it, even if I never showed it to him- but I don’t know, maybe he would? Maybe I’ll write him one next. Were you friends with Roxas too, or just me? Maybe when we wake Roxas up, I’ll ask him if he remembers a girl. I think we might’ve all been friends, which strikes out the thought that you’re that girl in the basement of the laboratory. I wish I could ask Isa. Do you know Isa? Did you know Saix? If you did, I wouldn’t blame you for not liking that fact. He’s been kind of an ass. Soon, we’ll bring him home too, and I’ll ask him if he remembers a girl. That isn’t the one in the basement. Some, different, nebulous girl in the back of my mind.

God, this is awful of me. I’m really sorry I’m asking all these questions when I can’t even do you the favour of knowing who you are. Somehow, though, I don’t think you’d mind. I think you might tell me to stop apologizing for not knowing, but maybe to apologize for something else. I hope I’ll get to ask you what to apologize for, so I can get it over with! I need to apologize to Roxas too, so you two can have that in common. Face to face, though, me and him, no weird dreams where I feel like I’m dying.

I guess maybe I should tell you what I’m up to, if you don’t somehow already know. Me and Kairi are training in this timeless forest- wait, do you even know who Kairi is? I guess… she’s just a girl I know! A girl who isn’t you, but maybe looks like you. We’re both new to this whole keyblade thing, so we’re training out here so we can, y’know, win the fight. I really hope you know what a keyblade is. It’s a... key… blade. Yeah, nice one Lea, thank you, I try. I really feel like you know what I mean! If me and Kairi get all strong, we’ll be able to go help save everyone like Roxas and maybe Isa. And maybe you! God I hope I’ll be able to save you. I feel like I was stronger when I was a nobody, when I was Axel, but that came with its drawbacks. Now I’m just scraping myself together again. I think all things together, I’m doing an ok enough job, not considering this flub in my memory.

It’s kinda funny to think I’d spent so much time trying to convince everyone to remember me, and I can’t even remember one single girl who I swear meant the world to me. I can close my eyes and swear I can see all the details of your face, but when I open them again, it’s all gone like it never happened. It’s so awful of me. But in the same way, I know you wouldn’t mind. We’d all go up and sit on the clock tower and have a good laugh about it over some ice cream. We definitely shared ice cream, because I don’t know a single soul I wouldn’t share ice cream with, if we were really good friends and hung out more than once, which I’m sure we used to.

I guess Kairi was right. This did kind of make me feel better. It’s like I can pretend we’re really talking to each other, even though we really, really aren’t. At the same time though, now that I’ve got this heart, it just hurts all over. I want to apologize for something I don’t remember. I want to apologize for forgetting you, even though I don’t think it’s entirely my fault. It makes me want to carve this thing out of my chest again, so I can be nice and empty- but then again, the memory of you is chained to this heart, isn’t it? And I don’t want to forget what little of you I have left.

I’ll remember you again. I promise.

**Author's Note:**

> just something quick between school work


End file.
